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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:38 pm Post subject: Monger Item List
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I saw this somewhere a while ago on here, but can't find it again. What do you guys take in your bag of tricks:
Condoms
Lube
Pocket rocket for the chicas (mine bitch get your own!, but I'll use it on u)
Digital camera
Vitamin Ci
Cd player and cd's
mosquito spray
towels
bottled water
flashlight
Hennessey!
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1. Don`t go, you'll get addicted and will want to return every month.
2.Figure out your spending money, then double it. Some guys travel real cheap down there. If you like to eat and drink like a madman, you'll have to do this just to be sure.
3.Double the amount of condoms you plan on bringing
4.Drink plenty of beer, you get de-hydrated easy in the sun
5.Stay out of the sun, thats for people on vacation
6.Don`t do normal vacation activities like rideing the damn bannana boat, you'll need something to look forward to on the next trip down.
7. Drink plenty of cuba-libres <rum cokes>
8.Stay away from Jayman unless ya have a note from your doctor that says its ok to abuse your liver.
9.Stay away from El Drunko unless ya have a note from your doctor that says its ok to abuse your liver. hee hee hee
10. Don`t forget to drink plenty of beer
11.If it doesn`t look good to eat, DON'T EAT IT Use the sniff test, that goes for chicas and food.
12.Put a US $5 in your top pocket for when ya get off the plane. If the Dude at Customs wants a "tip" give him that. He will probably say 10 dollar no problem, Just give him the 5 bucks and walk outta there. Time is money and who cares about 5 bucks. I know I know, I'm ruining it for everyone. In fact give him a 5 spot for me, save me the time later.
13.What ever ya do, no matter what she says...Wrap that thing up!!!
14.Try a screwdriver with your ham and cheese omlett. They complement each other nicely.
15.Her mother isn`t sick, I know I was fucking her this morning.
16.Its impossible to Western Union a Chica from Chicago.
17.Don`t fall in love, she only Loves your wallet.
18.Gin & Tonics make a nice night cap
19.NEVER but NEVER give her your real adress or Phone Number
20.You don`t pay to fuck them, you pay them to leave.
21.Use bottled water to brush your teeth or else you'll be shitting through the eye of a needle from 50 paces away.
22. Keep your shit locked up. They are all thieves. They don`t care what they steal as long as they get something to take home. Remember, they have nothing and I mean nothing.
23.Don`t even think of buying drugs down there, that includes Grass, Unless of course ya have $2000 you don`t know what to do with. In that case, send it to me so I can go down there again.
24. Its ok to drink as long as its after you wake up.
25. When in doubt refer to rules number 4,7,8,9,10,14,18 and especially twenty four.
