01/2010 - Secret Sex Vacations - A Story Every Woman Must Read

[whatever]

I'm single and have nothing whatsoever to lose, but I still tell people that I go for the Food, Scuba,the beach, and there are many landsmann ( compatriots) there. Noone ever questions it and the less people that know , the better. Some of my old school buds have figured it out, but I admit nothing, to anyone. Fuck them, I owe them no explanation & definitely would not show them any pics, cause they all talk in their sleep.
And these are guys I know for MANY years, but I dont need their wives giving me any shit (fearing I might corrupt them I guess)
I once ran into a female coworker coming back at JFK , 8 of us guys with big smiles, I told her we are all in a Scuba Dive Club , 2 bags clearly were scuba. She bought it. DENY DENY DENY.
Whatever guy would write such an article is a complete duchebag.

Hehe funny. Scuba certification is a great mongering license. It gives you a reason to go many places and monger while you are there. While you're mongering you do a few dives, take a few UW pix, and you have your cover story set and you can monger the rest of the trip. The pix and logged dives are proof you were doing something else.

[SeaWeed]

You know, something like, "Well, yeah, but that's true of every latin american country in the world, and I'm not going to give up traveling because of some stupid article in Black Cosmo," and then invite her to come with you...to Las Terrenas, Cabarete, Samana, Casa de Campo, Punta Cana, Santiago, Santo Domingo, or any of the dozens of legit spots on the island.

See, if you show her its a really big island and that Sosua is a really small part of it (that even Dominicans aren't big on), then it's less of an issue. Also, they're WOMEN. Once they realize an issue isn't really an issue, they move on to the next drama.

great idea for the GF.........an all inclusive at Punta Cana with other couples would certainly do the trick........and then tell her all of DR is like this.......I've always told her I go for the food and snorkeling anyways.......lol

[JuanElGriego]

Sensationalistic bullshit. For the life of me, I can't understand why women like reading shit like like this. If they demanded the truth instead of entertainment, sorry excuses for men like Mr. Murphy wouldn't find it as profitable to jump on the bitch wagon and sell out their brothers.

In a way, we're all guilty of preferring entertainment to truth, of exceptions to the norm.

Take that 'Jersey Shore' show on MTV and how it plays up every sad parody of a tiny segment of the Italian-American population. The ratings MTV gets for that show are incredible. Young, good-looking kids acting a fool ... you get eye candy plus you get to feel better about yourself because your grammar is so much better than theirs and so forth and so forth. If that show focused on a "normal" group of young Italians going to a University, then to work a boring part-time job before heading home to study ... would anyone watch that shit for even 5 minutes???

Similarly, this Keith Murray is just tossing out the red meat his readers want from him.

[Dick Dawson]

Imagine being a fly on the wall in the Dominican salons over the next few weeks. Wonder if we'll hear about any "disturbances" on the news.

[DCIronman]

In a way, we're all guilty of preferring entertainment to truth, of exceptions to the norm.

Take that 'Jersey Shore' show on MTV and how it plays up every sad parody of a tiny segment of the Italian-American population. The ratings MTV gets for that show are incredible. Young, good-looking kids acting a fool ... you get eye candy plus you get to feel better about yourself because your grammar is so much better than theirs and so forth and so forth. If that show focused on a "normal" group of young Italians going to a University, then to work a boring part-time job before heading home to study ... would anyone watch that shit for even 5 minutes???

Similarly, this Keith Murray is just tossing out the red meat his readers want from him.

I totally agree with you. But there's some principle involved here as well.

Speaking as a black man, I gotta tell you. We've got enough issues with our women already. We really don't need one of our own creating more.

I have no problems with brothers getting ahead. But this opportunistic bastard intentionally threw us under a bus for the sake of his own gain. I can't give him a pass on this one.

[husl2001]

I totally agree with you. But there's some principle involved here as well.

Speaking as a black man, I gotta tell you. We've got enough issues with our women already. We really don't need one of our own creating more.

I have no problems with brothers getting ahead. But this opportunistic bastard intentionally threw us under a bus for the sake of his own gain. I can't give him a pass on this one.

He's clearly foul, but I'm not particularly bothered. Most women I know are aware of what time it is in Sosua (dudes have been shooting their mouths off for some time now).

Here's the thing: if you say "Hon, I'm thinking of going on a guy's trip to...," they automatically assume something's up, and google the hell out of that location. See, location doesn't matter. You can get laid at the Vatican. It's all about the company you're keeping.

Or did you think that guys were the only ones lurking on sites like these

[chicmatic]

I'm more worried about my wingmans wife finding out through the network than I am for myself. I'm single and tell people that I'm going to Miami or Santo Domingo which are both technically true...I'm interested in reading the article for shits and grins and just to see how accurate it is. Oh, and I go because I can .

It just be calling me man....

[JuanElGriego]

Speaking as a black man, I gotta tell you. We've got enough issues with our women already. We really don't need one of our own creating more.

I have absolutely nothing to base this on, but i would lay down a good amount of money in support of Greydread's "opinion" of mr. Murray.

(how u doin??)

[joeysterr]

"The Essence.com boards are flooded with seething comments from people who can’t understand why a magazine geared towards Black women would make the NFL player who is dating a non-Black woman, Kim Kardashian, the cover choice for an issue that celebrates Black love."

Looks like this article or should I say the cover is getting another attention. Good for the non-single guys right

http://www.racialicious.com/2010/01/...ing-minefield/

[gdogg]

You "single guys" may be safe but this is not the light us Al Bundy's need.

This type of shit only makes women go on high alert and calls for the need of tighter cover stories...but by the same token if a man is in a cool relationship where her hubby says..."I'm going with boys to Vegas - Miami - LA or the DR"...."to play golf, poker or jet ski"...then its just a matter of keeping your shit tight...

...I'm telling wifey that my trip in March is to conference with other professionals on how to help the educational system in DR and the strain it will face with the new influx of Haitians...

...I'll max out on the school supplies I'll take down via Jet Blue (80 lbs in 2 bags) and take a shit load of pics at that school near the NG as well as the "shoe shine mafia", along with some other friendlly island shots....

....guys eating BBQ at Big D's - Her: "Who's that?"

ME: "Oh him - he's the rep from IBM who's agreed to donate 20 tablets for the schools and that guy next to him, real funny guy, he's a school superintendent in Boston who says he can get surplus supplies to the schools worth up to $10,000 a year...great guys"....

So smile for the camera when I see ya....and try to act professional.

Actually, you should take those school supplies and give them to Weyland! He's doing a great job with helping Haitian school children in Puerto Plata, and really could use the help. Just a thought.

[gdogg]

I'm surprised my mother hasn't said anything about it to me yet. She's subscribed to Essence since it was first published. She obviously hasn't read it yet, and I haven't seen it. I wouldn't worry about it tooooo much. Whatever uproar it causes won't last too long. This too shall pass...

[brovo35]

My response has been and will remain:

I grew up a block from the "stroll" and didn't fuck with them then and I don't now.
If I wanted to cheat I wouldn't want to or have to go half way around the world to do it.

[Crossfire1]

I just read that bullshit article by Keith Murphy. I thought I'd share with you the letter that I plan to send to Essence. This is some bullshit.

To: Essence Magazine,

I’m **** and I am writing you in response the article “Fool’s Paradise”, from your February 2010 issue. I have to admit that I did not enjoy reading your article, with it’s characterization of black men, based on very little facts. The author, Keith Murphy did a very poor job of telling what really goes on in the Dominican Republic. It appears to me that this article was written to single out black men and why they travel. The article makes it seems as though black men are the only ones going to the D.R. Mr. Murphy’s story, gives reasons that black men choose travel to DR instead of Rio, which are ridiculous and unsubstantiated. The article fails to explore the motives of the men who travel there. Instead it grasp at quotes that will appease the target female demographic that reads Essence magazine. Please allow me to discuss your article and point out the problems that I had with it.

In the 3rd paragraph Mark, a VIP host at DR Nights, is quoted saying “The number of our African-American Clients has been growing every year.” Mr. Murphy uses Mark as an expert witness to attest to the fact that black men are coming to the DR in increasing numbers year after year. However the article fails to give any stats or numbers to support this. While the reader can take Marks statement as the truth, this could also mean that DR Nights had 4 African-American clients in 2006, 6 clients in 2008 and 10 clients in 2009. By leaving out the data the reader will tend to assume that these numbers are larger than they actually are. Mr. Murphy failed to ask Mark, what percentage of his clients were, African American. Was it .01% or was it 10%? I simply don’t understand why Mr. Murphy didn’t get figures to suggest how many African-American clients DR Nights actually had, so he could show how much growth there actually was year after year. These numbers would have also shown that African-American men are only a small fraction of the men traveling to D.R. I can only assume that these numbers are left out because they are not significant enough to warrant writing this article, and because leaving them out helps to demonize African-American men.

In the 5th paragraph Chad Dion Lassiter, M.S.W., adjunct lecturer at the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy and Practice, is quoted saying “Over the past few years there’s been a real paradigm shift in that the hoards of Black men who used to go to Brazil are now going to the D.R.” In the 6th paragraph Lassiter suggest that the transition from Brazil to D.R. came about partly because Brazil became “exposed.” Once the “dirty little secret” was out men shifted from Brazil to D.R. Once again, Mr. Murphy failed to ask his expert witness to support his claim about the shift. Merely, having a fancy title doesn’t mean that one can simply throw around quotes without facts and data to support them. Why didn’t Mr. Murphy simply ask Lassiter for data to support his paradigm shift theory? There was no poll or census to support any of these claims. There are hundreds or thousands of African-Americans men that travel to the D.R. each year. If we just examine the men who travel strictly for sex, Lassiter assumes that most of these men have started off traveling to Brazil first, until it was “exposed.” I have been to D.R. over 20 times and I know a lot of African-Americans who travel there for sex. I can personally tell you that very few of them have ever been to Brazil. Of the few that have been to Brazil, none of them started traveling to D.R. because it was “exposed.” Lassiter’s suggestion of a paradigm shift is his personal opinion base on a small group of men in his social circles and carries no more weight than my personal experience. Professor or Not.

On page 133, in the 2nd paragraph, Lassiter is again quoted after seeing the pictures of an acquaintance. (By the way this supports my theory that his view is based on personal experience and not facts or data). “What these men fail to realize is that the respect of the Dominican women is for your Dollar, not for you.” This quote from Lassiter was given to counter some men’s claim that African-American women can’t compete with Dominican women. If Mr. Murphy or Lassiter wanted to truly challenge this claim they would have explored the Dominican-American woman and how she compares to the African-American woman in the mind of African-American men. Why? Because most of these men realize that there is a financial motive. A motive that is no different from a beautiful African-American woman going after ugly doctors, lawyers, pro athletes, rappers and singers. Women all over the world look for successful men. This seems to be ok, until the African-American woman is left out.

On page 135, Mr. Murphy reported that the HIV rate in D.R. was 1% and as high as 12% among sex workers. What Mr. Murphy doesn’t write about is the HIV rate right here in the U.S. A quick Google search reveals some very scary numbers. Just looking at sites from the CDC and the Washington Post, would suggest that there is not much difference between engaging in risky behavior in the U.S. or in the D.R. In 2009, the Washington Post and Fox news reported the HIV rate in the Washington DC, to be as high as 3%. That is 3 times higher than the rate in the D.R. The CDC reported that African-Americans account for 48% of all HIV cases while making up less than 12% of the U.S. population. The numbers vary from site to site, but the one thing that is constant is that risky behavior is risky behavior. I think Mr. Murphy didn’t bother to compare HIV rates in D.R. to rates in the U.S. because it further demonizes African-American men for traveling abroad and leaving African-American women behind. He wanted to scare his female readers so they have more to talk about around the water cooler or at the salon.

What this article lacked in facts was replaced by interviews of people giving personal opinions. All in all, this article accomplished what the author intended, which was to place shock and fear in female readers. I will say that African-American men should not be upset because Essence is “blowing up the spot.” They should be upset by this poorly researched article that is design to strike at women emotions rather than presenting facts and letting them come to their own conclusion. This article also failed to discuss African-American women who go to D.R. for the same reason. They have a name for the men these women enjoy. They call them Sankies, but Mr. Murphy wasn’t interested in that. I work with an African-American woman who travels to D.R. for the same reason many of these men travel. I could go on about how poorly researched this article was, but I will turn to something more interesting.

In October 2009, I was in the lobby of the Hilton hotel in Santo Domingo. I was there with a friend of mine who was flying back to the U.S. the next day. Normally we don’t spend time in Santo Domingo or Boca Chica. We only came into the city because my friend had an early flight the next day. While I was trying to get a room my friend had run into a reporter who wanted to ask us some questions about African-American men traveling abroad. I declined to talk to him because I could see right through his lies. I knew that he wanted to write an article tabloid style about African-American men traveling for sex. Had he been real about his intentions, maybe I would have given him a quote. My friend fits the description of Ron in your article so maybe I ran into Mr. Murphy at the Hilton. Maybe it is a small world.

The editors and researchers at Essence should be a shame of releasing such a poorly written article. Mr. Murphy and Essence should not be allowed to go to eastern Europe until they learn how to produce a well researched article.

****

[gdogg]

Great letter!! But is the author's name Murphy or Murray? I still haven't read it yet.

[psriches]

Great letter!! But is the author's name Murphy or Murray? I still haven't read it yet.

His name is Keith Murray dammit!

[psriches]

You guys are forgetting one thing, You can't apply logic to a woman!

So if Essence gives it, women will receive it! It's about selling magazines.

I'm very bitter about Essence publishing the Brazil article the week i went to Brazil. I also blame them for helping me lose the love of my life. But in actuality, i had nobody to blame but myself.

I'm just venting before work!

[psriches]

What i always tell my friend's, "either you're single or you're not"!

If you're single, who gives a fuck what Essence or anybody else says? And it's not like you can stop them from saying it anyway, whether the info is true or not!

And if you're married or attached, shame on you because you can't live both lives. Trust me, it doesn't work. It's just a matter of time before your world comes crashing down.

So either you're a "monger" or you're an "other". Choose one!!!

When i returned from Brazil, i had to ask myself if i wanted to be a Sheep or a Wolf?

I choose WOLF!!!!!!! aaaoooooooooooowwwww

[gdogg]

His name is Keith Murray dammit!

YouTube- KEITH MURRAY - THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THIS WORLD HD

Just wanted to make sure he spelled the name right. Those broads (did I just say broads? Damn, I'm getting old!) in the letters office would have a field day about that.

[gdogg]

You guys are forgetting one thing, You can't apply logic to a woman!

So if Essence gives it, women will receive it! It's about selling magazines.

I'm very bitter about Essence publishing the Brazil article the week i went to Brazil. I also blame them for helping me lose the love of my life. But in actuality, i had nobody to blame but myself.

I'm just venting before work!

She'll be back!

[greydread]

And if you're married or attached, shame on you because you can't live both lives. Trust me, it doesn't work. It's just a matter of time before your world comes crashing down.

So either you're a "monger" or you're an "other". Choose one!!!

Patently untrue.

My hobby could NEVER cost me the "love of my life" because my children don't care how I entertain myself as long as I'm happy and after them, the "love of my life" is ME.

If I'm with a Woman in a relationship and I'm holding up my end, she shouldn't have a problem letting me out of the cage once in awhile. If she does, then she's the wrong one for me and will be replaced by one who understands and appreciates the nature of a Man.

I'm equally likely to go off into the woods for a week and not see a Woman the entire time I'm hunting OR to go to an island Paradise and try to fuck every Woman who tickles my fancy. All my SO knows is that I was gone for a week in either case so it's up to her to have her head on straight and understand the importance of having a man who does his homework before going out to play.