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Thread: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by yayow View Post
    Actually tried this, just didn't work for me, like I said just not wired that way for the time being. For that to succeed with me, would have to give up my membership on the board. Stop associating with other mongers. Know a lot of guys that do what you say, but they aren't what I would consider to be mongers at all. Just normal guys enjoying their lives abroad. Sure they sampled a few chicas until finding the right one, but once found the sampling stopped. My sampling continues like the energizer bunny, keeps going and going.

    Oh one other thing I personally would have to do, for that to work for me is to go, deaf, blind and crazy!
    (especially about the "deaf, blind and crazy" part)

    Seems to me that the roots of Society, as we've lived it up until the last half-century or so, are in Family ... in its tightest focus, on a man and a woman pairing up and committing to breed and raise children. This is the norm, because the two-parent family has been a very successful way of raising our young; I'm willing to argue that we've been genetically selected that way. An interesting point of that is that men, fathers, appear to have a stronger bond with their children than you see in any other species of mammal -- but maybe I, being childless, have no business speaking of that. But I certainly observe it.

    Our species has also been described as a "herd animal." We tend to live in large groups, to classify ourselves by sub-groups, and to internalize and conform to the behavior we see around us ... especially what we see and live with in our childhood. And we are shaped by that -- the 'nurture' side of nature vs. nurture -- whether we conform to it in our adulthood, or rebel against it, or strive to overcome it and do better for ourselves.

    But there are always outliers ... Okay, that's enough prologue.

    I think people who do a lot of traveling are outliers. Even more so, people who do a lot of foreign travel, who need the fat passport. And I think people who will fly across an ocean for half a week of debauchery are DEFINITELY outliers -- Yes, I'm looking in the mirror!

    I think it's the same with pair-bonding. Some folks stick to the norm, and succeed in that "happily ever after." Others make a go of it, but it doesn't last, for whatever reasons. Some of us ride the carousel, but don't manage to catch the ring; some of us are just enjoying the ride. There are a lot of folks just watching from the sidelines ... and a few of us who skip the carousel and head straight for the bumper-cars. (Boy-oh-boy, am I ever straining at these carnival analogies!)

    We, as mongers, are way outside the norm, for whatever reasons. Some of us, further than others. I may be one of the "furthers," because I can't see myself settling down; I'm uncomfortable with letting a woman that far into my life. (The closest I've come to it, recently, ended badly.) I'm not looking for someone special or something lasting; I'm enjoying the thrill of the moment. But I'm still a tourist.

    Will things change -- will I change -- when (if) I expat to my One Particular Harbor?



    I'm still "Just A Lurker."

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    All good points serving the reality that we are all cut from different cloth and one Man's Paradise is another Man's Prison.

    I don't know. As much as like fine, young Pum-Pum on the occasions when I find a Woman that I can fall into a groove with I prefer into drink deep from the well and try to know all of her. Being with a Woman is about a whole lot more than sex to me. She has the power to balance my yang and guide me to a peaceful place that I just can't get to by myself.

    There's just something about those moments after dinner, after sex, after the laundry has been done and the kitchen cleaned and I'm spazzed out on the chair watching the game and she's on the couch crocheting of reading or doing whatever it is that she does when all is right with her world and she looks at me to see if I need anything and I give her my "tapped out" face and this little smile of satisfaction washes over her. That moment right there, priceless.
    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Some do... some don't. Some do... get burned... and come back to mongering with a vengeance. I already described the ex-pat group in my community here in Colombia. Most are older guys 65+ who are looking for a degree of tranquility with little drama. A few of these guys have much younger pueblo girlfriends (whom they pay well), but they are under no illusions of why the girls stay with them. Some have gone as far as tying the knot with their novias... and plan on leaving their "fortunes" to them when they die. A couple guys who never quite kicked the habit go to La Galaria (think mini-mayorista) and will bang at least one working girl daily.
    Blue Devil

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    Some do... some don't. Some do... get burned... and come back to mongering with a vengeance. I already described the ex-pat group in my community here in Colombia. Most are older guys 65+ who are looking for a degree of tranquility with little drama. A few of these guys have much younger pueblo girlfriends (whom they pay well), but they are under no illusions of why the girls stay with them. Some have gone as far as tying the knot with their novias... and plan on leaving their "fortunes" to them when they die. A couple guys who never quite kicked the habit go to La Galaria (think mini-mayorista) and will bang at least one working girl daily.
    I think I may like this place.



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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    Some do... some don't. Some do... get burned... and come back to mongering with a vengeance. I already described the ex-pat group in my community here in Colombia. Most are older guys 65+ who are looking for a degree of tranquility with little drama. A few of these guys have much younger pueblo girlfriends (whom they pay well), but they are under no illusions of why the girls stay with them. Some have gone as far as tying the knot with their novias... and plan on leaving their "fortunes" to them when they die. A couple guys who never quite kicked the habit go to La Galaria (think mini-mayorista) and will bang at least one working girl daily.
    I'm not 65+, not yet, but I'm all in favor of that "degree of tranquility with little drama." All the same, I may not have a raging hunger for punani, but I certainly still have an appetite for fine, young, exotic-to-me sweeties ... and a matching urge to visit their exotic homelands. I've been feeding those urges tourist-style for the past few years, but it's expensive to live that way, and you get only a tourist's-eye view of your destination.

    Hence the temptation of going expat ... or at least, going expat-style, renting a flat by the month rather than a hotel room by the night, making myself at home for a while, rather than rushing around trying to do everything and see everything while the clock ticks inexorably toward my departure time.

    My next trip is locked in, tourist-style. I plan to make some time, though, for checking the market in monthly rentals, for seeing what's available and what's the cost. (Most likely in Pattaya; I'll be too busy tourist-ing in Siem Reap, and too busy diving in Phuket.) After that? We'll see....

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    I'm not 65+, not yet, but I'm all in favor of that "degree of tranquility with little drama." All the same, I may not have a raging hunger for punani, but I certainly still have an appetite for fine, young, exotic-to-me sweeties ... and a matching urge to visit their exotic homelands. I've been feeding those urges tourist-style for the past few years, but it's expensive to live that way, and you get only a tourist's-eye view of your destination.

    Hence the temptation of going expat ... or at least, going expat-style, renting a flat by the month rather than a hotel room by the night, making myself at home for a while, rather than rushing around trying to do everything and see everything while the clock ticks inexorably toward my departure time.

    My next trip is locked in, tourist-style. I plan to make some time, though, for checking the market in monthly rentals, for seeing what's available and what's the cost. (Most likely in Pattaya; I'll be too busy tourist-ing in Siem Reap, and too busy diving in Phuket.) After that? We'll see....
    The big temptation to turning ex-pat is the degree of leverage you get with your US Dollar living down here. I live far better in Colombia than I ever lived in NJ. My quality of life is exquisite now... and I am building wealth on my retirement income at a rate I never imagined possible. The cost of living in my semi-rural pueblo is about 30% of what it was living in South Jersey 10 years ago. Although I think it's neat to "live the dream" in a foreign "exotic" country, it is not without drawbacks. Some aspects of the culture, bureaucracy, mediocre infrastructure and collective behavior of Colombia can drive you absolutely bonkers. But overall, if you have a steady income coming in from the States, you can pamper yourself with everything from pretty paisas to luxury homes... even if you were a flunky civil government worker (like me). As much as I enjoy our short trips back to the US, I freak out when I look at the receipts from my trips. It's so damned expensive in the US. So, cost of living is just one of the reasons for living down here.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    The big temptation to turning ex-pat is the degree of leverage you get with your US Dollar living down here. I live far better in Colombia than I ever lived in NJ. My quality of life is exquisite now... and I am building wealth on my retirement income at a rate I never imagined possible. The cost of living in my semi-rural pueblo is about 30% of what it was living in South Jersey 10 years ago. Although I think it's neat to "live the dream" in a foreign "exotic" country, it is not without drawbacks. Some aspects of the culture, bureaucracy, mediocre infrastructure and collective behavior of Colombia can drive you absolutely bonkers. But overall, if you have a steady income coming in from the States, you can pamper yourself with everything from pretty paisas to luxury homes... even if you were a flunky civil government worker (like me). As much as I enjoy our short trips back to the US, I freak out when I look at the receipts from my trips. It's so damned expensive in the US. So, cost of living is just one of the reasons for living down here.
    A key factor is, if you have no family where you live, they why stay there? No reason at all.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmydr View Post
    A key factor is, if you have no family where you live, they why stay there? No reason at all.
    Yeah, that's true. Other than my brother, I have no family back in the States. I'm trying hard to get my brother to punch out, and move down here. He's recently divorced, but still feels he needs to support 2 millenial kids in their 20s.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    Yeah, that's true. Other than my brother, I have no family back in the States. I'm trying hard to get my brother to punch out, and move down here. He's recently divorced, but still feels he needs to support 2 millenial kids in their 20s.
    Last time we spoke he was married.


    But just having a brother someplace is no reason to stay when both can move

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    I freak out when I look at the receipts from my trips. It's so damned expensive in the US. So, cost of living is just one of the reasons for living down here.
    Why bother?

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevil View Post
    The big temptation to turning ex-pat is the degree of leverage you get with your US Dollar living down here. I live far better in Colombia than I ever lived in NJ. My quality of life is exquisite now... and I am building wealth on my retirement income at a rate I never imagined possible. The cost of living in my semi-rural pueblo is about 30% of what it was living in South Jersey 10 years ago.
    That "leveraged dollar" is the first thing that attracted me to the expat life -- and that was years before I got introduced to mongering, South American style. Of course, the "price-of-life" aspect is pushed in publications and websites such as International Living, and, by my lights, with good reason. I'm doing okay, here in the Washington-Baltimore area, but part of that is because I paid off the mortgage on my townhouse before I retired (and even more of it is my Civil Service pension); I'm quite conscious that I could live better, with effectively more "disposable income," if I move offshore to a country where the cost-of-living is lower than it is here.

    Although I think it's neat to "live the dream" in a foreign "exotic" country, it is not without drawbacks. Some aspects of the culture, bureaucracy, mediocre infrastructure and collective behavior of Colombia can drive you absolutely bonkers. But overall, if you have a steady income coming in from the States, you can pamper yourself with everything from pretty paisas to luxury homes... even if you were a flunky civil government worker (like me). As much as I enjoy our short trips back to the US, I freak out when I look at the receipts from my trips. It's so damned expensive in the US. So, cost of living is just one of the reasons for living down here.
    Those "drawbacks" you mention are a non-monetary cost that we have to figure in, aren't they? I've heard and read a lot about things like having to pay your bills at the bank (because you just can't drop a check in the mail), or dealing with the "Mañana Society" when you're driven to get things done. But the benefits can certainly outweigh the costs, just as you describe, when you can enjoy your version of The Good Life in "Paradise" for the price of living in a trailer-park retirement village in central Florida.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    I can only speak of Sosua, but the chicas, camaraderie of other expats (not for everyone) and lower cost of living are the big benefits. On the downside you live among poor people with little education and common sense. In addition the infrastructure is poor (roads, sidewalks, electrical, water and trash). For many, it takes a period of time to adapt and get used to the place and it may not be for everyone. If your budget permits, a trip every three months to another more developed town or travel is recommended for mental health... But, being an expat, I like living here near Sosua, although I am not fully retired yet. Regarding a slowing down or settling down, it depends on the person. If one was a monger before coming here I think most never fully stop, but they may slow down. Everyone is different, their budgets are different, how they learn to deal with the chicas as an expat is a factor and they may also go through cycles. Some slow down when they have a favorita chica they hang with for a while, but when that chica leaves they get more active until they find another favorita.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    I'm not 65+, not yet, but I'm all in favor of that "degree of tranquility with little drama." All the same, I may not have a raging hunger for punani, but I certainly still have an appetite for fine, young, exotic-to-me sweeties ... and a matching urge to visit their exotic homelands. I've been feeding those urges tourist-style for the past few years, but it's expensive to live that way, and you get only a tourist's-eye view of your destination.

    Hence the temptation of going expat ... or at least, going expat-style, renting a flat by the month rather than a hotel room by the night, making myself at home for a while, rather than rushing around trying to do everything and see everything while the clock ticks inexorably toward my departure time.

    My next trip is locked in, tourist-style. I plan to make some time, though, for checking the market in monthly rentals, for seeing what's available and what's the cost. (Most likely in Pattaya; I'll be too busy tourist-ing in Siem Reap, and too busy diving in Phuket.) After that? We'll see....
    Westy, I have been doing this for years, mostly for my own entertainment and knowledge of the current economic situation. Just google "Pattaya condos for rent" and you will see the plethora of available rentals, both with beach view and inland.

    One particular condo complex that is popular with expats is Nirun Condos. It is a 5 building complex, two 13 story towers and three 5 story low level ones, about 2,200 units all total. Ground floor is all businesses such as beer bars, cleaners, small grocery store, rental agenices, etc. A short walk to the mall that includes a major grocery store, and transport routes, a large beer bar complex across the street, and a 7-8 minute moto ride to the beach and Walking Street.

    For a month rental, you could get a 26 sq. meter studio, fully furnished with love seat type sofa, cable, balcony, fridge, microwave, queen bed, ac and ceiling fan, and you might pay 6,000 baht. Equates to about $171 usd per month. And if you did a 3 month stay, that goes down to about 5,500 baht per month. Spoke to several guys on previous trips who have rented in that complex for years on nothing more than a social security check, never mind a pension, and not one of them has ever had second thoughts. Whether a seasonal expat or full time, they all seem to enjoy where they were at.

    If I were you, I would strongly consider a month long trip to Pattaya, reserve here (in low season you could probably grab a unit as a walk up) and see how it goes. Everything you need for your daily living needs, as well as your nightly entertainment wants, can be found within a few minutes of you walking out your door.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    I live in a brand new 1650 square feet townhome with 4 bedrooms and 5 baths for $450 US per month. It is an Estrato 4 neighborhood, so I am surrounded with pretty decent neighbors who are educated and have pretty good incomes. (Although, this does not necessarily guarantee an asshole-free environment). My utilities (phone, gas, water electric, electric, internet, sewer, garbage, cable TV) run less than $140 US per month. When I lived in NJ, I had gas and electric bills that exceeded my monthly rent here during the winter and summer respectively. I have a nice warm feeling every month that I will have enough money to have fun with or salt away.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    That was my pattern during my extended stay in Sosua. Hold down a favorita until she moved on then sample the local hoe pool until I found another. Contrary to what some would believe it's less a relationship with a favorita and more of a mutual convience. She's typically just biding her time until a better deal comes along or she heads back home. We both liked the known quantity part of the arrangement and no doubt she enjoyed the steady income. The funny thing to me was typically nobody wanted anything serious with the chick until they saw her with me. It was like you bucked a bronco then afterward someone stole your horse.

    While I'm a monger at heart the constant swirl of personalities often would grate on my nerves so familiarity was something I craved and sought out. Only gave up my freedom to choose with one of those numerous favoritas. Falling in love with a working girl can be a really unpleasant experience. Even being in the "chulo" seat didnt make it tolerable. Shook me up so bad that now if I have even a twinge of jealousy for a worker I'm moving on.

    One thing I found strange about the working girl community was the they all expected you to have a wife or novia. It's as if as a man of means you should be taking care of a family. The family did not have to be theirs yet as a man you needed a woman to call your own. Being solely a womanizer without commitments was looked at as a wasteful way to lead your life. Now having this wife/novia in their view did not mean you couldn't buy pussy as often as you wanted and definitely wasn't going to stop them from fucking you; however, a man having a center or family life was something they thought was very important.


    Quote Originally Posted by jose1234 View Post
    I can only speak of Sosua, but the chicas, camaraderie of other expats (not for everyone) and lower cost of living are the big benefits. On the downside you live among poor people with little education and common sense. In addition the infrastructure is poor (roads, sidewalks, electrical, water and trash). For many, it takes a period of time to adapt and get used to the place and it may not be for everyone. If your budget permits, a trip every three months to another more developed town or travel is recommended for mental health... But, being an expat, I like living here near Sosua, although I am not fully retired yet. Regarding a slowing down or settling down, it depends on the person. If one was a monger before coming here I think most never fully stop, but they may slow down. Everyone is different, their budgets are different, how they learn to deal with the chicas as an expat is a factor and they may also go through cycles. Some slow down when they have a favorita chica they hang with for a while, but when that chica leaves they get more active until they find another favorita.
    Last edited by The Sage; 10-06-2016 at 06:33 PM.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by jose1234 View Post
    I can only speak of Sosua, but the chicas, camaraderie of other expats (not for everyone) and lower cost of living are the big benefits. On the downside you live among poor people with little education and common sense. In addition the infrastructure is poor (roads, sidewalks, electrical, water and trash). For many, it takes a period of time to adapt and get used to the place and it may not be for everyone. If your budget permits, a trip every three months to another more developed town or travel is recommended for mental health... But, being an expat, I like living here near Sosua, although I am not fully retired yet. Regarding a slowing down or settling down, it depends on the person. If one was a monger before coming here I think most never fully stop, but they may slow down. Everyone is different, their budgets are different, how they learn to deal with the chicas as an expat is a factor and they may also go through cycles. Some slow down when they have a favorita chica they hang with for a while, but when that chica leaves they get more active until they find another favorita.
    Excellent point. And count me in on needing to get out of 3rd world for mental health. After 3-4 weeks in Phillipines I am ready to get the hell out of there...lol... Get me back to good food and cool weather. PI is dirty hot and smelly...lol...

    The hardest thing I believe living overseas is what you do to pass your time. You cant chase hookers 52 weeks a year. So if you are in Angeles City what do you do. Darts, Pool, booze, and women - how long can you do that? That is why there are so many alcholoic expats you see traveling.

    Guy on Phillipine addicts is now in Deumaggon. Its a small town south of Cebu that has good diving. He is living with this much younger live-in. He said he is bored to tears. Nothing to do.

    So I think where you choose to live is important. Blue Devil in Medellin is a nice place. That to me is more normal not living in hooker poverty.

    Westy you got a setup like me in that your townhouse is owned and only paying property taxes. You aint giving that up. I know you. Going back and eating good crab and sailing is worth holding onto that and keeping your mental heath vs living in Subic fulltime sweating...3-4 months living overseas and 8 months normal USA living is my ideal plan.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Sage View Post

    One thing I found strange about the working girl community was the they all expected you to have a wife or novia. It's as if as a man of means you should be taking care of a family. The family did not have to be theirs yet as a man you needed a woman to call your own. Being solely a womanizer without commitments was looked at as a wasteful way to lead your life. Now having this wife/novia in their view did not mean you couldn't buy pussy as often as you wanted and definitely wasn't going to stop them from fucking you; however, a man having a center or family life was something they thought was very important.
    That apparent moral hypocrisy is what allows them to do what they do without remorse. In their minds they are doing a public service. When they settle down with Husbands of their own they will expect him to go out and follow the same pattern as her former clients. That's her "moral leverage" against him.

    It sounds fucked up but it's been working in every civilization known to Man since the invention of money.

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hunter View Post
    Excellent point. And count me in on needing to get out of 3rd world for mental health. After 3-4 weeks in Phillipines I am ready to get the hell out of there...lol... Get me back to good food and cool weather. PI is dirty hot and smelly...lol...

    The hardest thing I believe living overseas is what you do to pass your time. You cant chase hookers 52 weeks a year. So if you are in Angeles City what do you do. Darts, Pool, booze, and women - how long can you do that? That is why there are so many alcoholic expats you see traveling.
    You've got a very valid point about "what you do to pass your time." As a tourist, my problem tends to be one of too little time, and too much that I want to see and do ... and sometimes, I let mongering take second place to other interests and curiosities. (Remember how I almost beat Nakom's "unlucky streak," on my Philippines trip last Jan/Feb?) I've had some nice visits to Mongerville, where bar-hopping and skirt-chasing are the main events, but I wouldn't want to live there. I would at least demand a decent beach and interesting diving. Subic Bay could work out well for that.

    So I think where you choose to live is important. Blue Devil in Medellin is a nice place. That to me is more normal not living in hooker poverty.

    Westy you got a setup like me in that your townhouse is owned and only paying property taxes. You aint giving that up. I know you. Going back and eating good crab and sailing is worth holding onto that and keeping your mental heath vs living in Subic fulltime sweating...3-4 months living overseas and 8 months normal USA living is my ideal plan.
    I wouldn't say "I ain't giving that up," but I'd have to have a very solid plan for my future before I would sell the house and move for keeps. I would not go into it half-cocked, even if Miss Wild Orchid were leading me that way by the cock.

    I could see myself playing the part-time-expat game, though -- maybe a month or two downrange in a rented condo, like Mr. Smooth and Snoozer; maybe even keeping a place on year-round lockdown and spending half the year home, half the year there, like SeaWeed. I will acknowledge that it would be a lot nicer for me to have a boat in my Part-Time Paradise, to go sailing while I was there, when I felt like it.

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  37. #39
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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    You've got a very valid point about "what you do to pass your time." As a tourist, my problem tends to be one of too little time, and too much that I want to see and do ... and sometimes, I let mongering take second place to other interests and curiosities. (Remember how I almost beat Nakom's "unlucky streak," on my Philippines trip last Jan/Feb?) I've had some nice visits to Mongerville, where bar-hopping and skirt-chasing are the main events, but I wouldn't want to live there.



    I wouldn't say "I ain't giving that up," but I'd have to have a very solid plan for my future before I would sell the house and move for keeps. I would not go into it half-cocked, even if Miss Wild Orchid were leading me that way by the cock. I could see myself playing the part-time-expat game, though -- maybe a month or two downrange in a rented condo, like Mr. Smooth and Snoozer; maybe even keeping a place on year-round lockdown and spending half the year home, half the year there, like SeaWeed. I will acknowledge that it would be a lot nicer for me to have a boat in my Part-Time Paradise, to go sailing while I was there, when I felt like it....
    How do you spend your time in the US? Why would it be different?

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    Re: 10/2016 - Do Expat Mongers Settle Down ... or just slow down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmydr View Post
    How do you spend your time in the US? Why would it be different?
    It wouldn't be all that much different. I could just as easily spend too much time on the Internet there, as I do here.

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