Ten signs that you might have found a regular girl in Sosua:
1. She has no cell phone.
2. You offer her a drink in the disco, and she chooses a presidente.
3. Mimos does not know her.
4. She has no cheap condoms in her purse.
5. You ask her how old she is, and her answer is something other than "diez y ocho".
6. She doesn't know what a "quick collect" form is.
7. She hates shrimp.
8. It's been more than three days since her last salon visit.
9. Her mother is in good health.
10. And the best sign, All her hair is real.
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