04/2018 - Dominican culture = Man pays for everything?

[No Worries]

I will bethe first to say I dont understand the dominican culture at all. So I am coming to you guys for an explanation/ clarity.

Up until 2 months ago I was dating a really nice Dominican woman here in NYC. Very nice female, own business, and a great person. (Even though we are not together anymore, I have nothing bad to say about her). One day she was hosting a family BBQ in her back yard and her Aunt from SD showed up. I guess her and my lady had spoken about our relationship an dthe aunt wanted to speak to me about what I am expected to do for her niece.

The aunt told me that inthe Dominican culture "The man is expected to pay ALL of his girlfriends bills!" He pays for everything and she puts her money into savings. She told me "No worries, when you want to go out with my nice, you are supposed to give her money for a new dress, shoes, bag and pay for her to go to the salon to do her hair and nails. She represents you, so it is your responsibility to pay so she can look beautiful for you!" I gave the aunt the side eye and asked "Didnt she have clothes and shoes before she met me? Why do I have to buy her a new wardrobe every weekend?"

Then the aunt explained that I was supposed to pay ALL of her nieces bills every month. Rent, electricity, car, credit cards, etc... When I asked why i would do that, she stated that it was the Dominican way. I asked her "Well, what happens if we break up after 1 year, then I wasted all of that money that I could have used to pay my bills or buy something for myself."

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

From time to time, I did assist her with bills, 200 here, 500 there, 400 there. But it wasnt every month, just when I knew she was short. My question is "Is this really the way realtionships are with dominican women? Or was the aunt just giving me some bs because in her mind "All he is doing for you is fucking you. He sint taking care of you!"

[Seville]

What difference does it make? You are not in the DR and neither is she. I have never payed the bills of any woman I was dating in the US. And I have never been asked. Actually being in a poor country and dating a poor woman with extremely limited opportunities is a different matter completely.

[greydread]

Dominican culture only works in the Dominican economy. The culture is misogynistic by nature and there is no such thing as "equal pay". Working Women are usually going to have to fuck someone who isn't their Husband and sexual harassment in the workplace?....I don't even think that they have a word for that.

I'd have simply told the Aunt that "in America, the Woman takes care of the Man, gives up her place, moves in with him, serves all his needs then goes out to work to bring him money to help with the bills".

Then sit back and watch her percolate.

[camaro1257]

I will bethe first to say I dont understand the dominican culture at all. So I am coming to you guys for an explanation/ clarity.

Up until 2 months ago I was dating a really nice Dominican woman here in NYC. Very nice female, own business, and a great person. (Even though we are not together anymore, I have nothing bad to say about her). One day she was hosting a family BBQ in her back yard and her Aunt from SD showed up. I guess her and my lady had spoken about our relationship an dthe aunt wanted to speak to me about what I am expected to do for her niece.

The aunt told me that inthe Dominican culture "The man is expected to pay ALL of his girlfriends bills!" He pays for everything and she puts her money into savings. She told me "No worries, when you want to go out with my nice, you are supposed to give her money for a new dress, shoes, bag and pay for her to go to the salon to do her hair and nails. She represents you, so it is your responsibility to pay so she can look beautiful for you!" I gave the aunt the side eye and asked "Didnt she have clothes and shoes before she met me? Why do I have to buy her a new wardrobe every weekend?"

Then the aunt explained that I was supposed to pay ALL of her nieces bills every month. Rent, electricity, car, credit cards, etc... When I asked why i would do that, she stated that it was the Dominican way. I asked her "Well, what happens if we break up after 1 year, then I wasted all of that money that I could have used to pay my bills or buy something for myself."

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

From time to time, I did assist her with bills, 200 here, 500 there, 400 there. But it wasnt every month, just when I knew she was short. My question is "Is this really the way realtionships are with dominican women? Or was the aunt just giving me some bs because in her mind "All he is doing for you is fucking you. He sint taking care of you!"

The short answer is it depends...

I have taken a poll (Facebook & WhatsApp) of some of the non pros I know and so far the answers I have received are "no." They do not expect a man to pay all their bills but they do expect help regardless as to if they are working or not.

There are still quite a few responses pending I will keep you advised as they come in...

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

I will bethe first to say I dont understand the dominican culture at all. So I am coming to you guys for an explanation/ clarity.

Up until 2 months ago I was dating a really nice Dominican woman here in NYC. Very nice female, own business, and a great person. (Even though we are not together anymore, I have nothing bad to say about her). One day she was hosting a family BBQ in her back yard and her Aunt from SD showed up. I guess her and my lady had spoken about our relationship an dthe aunt wanted to speak to me about what I am expected to do for her niece.

The aunt told me that inthe Dominican culture "The man is expected to pay ALL of his girlfriends bills!" He pays for everything and she puts her money into savings. She told me "No worries, when you want to go out with my nice, you are supposed to give her money for a new dress, shoes, bag and pay for her to go to the salon to do her hair and nails. She represents you, so it is your responsibility to pay so she can look beautiful for you!" I gave the aunt the side eye and asked "Didnt she have clothes and shoes before she met me? Why do I have to buy her a new wardrobe every weekend?"

Then the aunt explained that I was supposed to pay ALL of her nieces bills every month. Rent, electricity, car, credit cards, etc... When I asked why i would do that, she stated that it was the Dominican way. I asked her "Well, what happens if we break up after 1 year, then I wasted all of that money that I could have used to pay my bills or buy something for myself."

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

From time to time, I did assist her with bills, 200 here, 500 there, 400 there. But it wasnt every month, just when I knew she was short. My question is "Is this really the way realtionships are with dominican women? Or was the aunt just giving me some bs because in her mind "All he is doing for you is fucking you. He sint taking care of you!"

Get rid of her fast!!!You are in America!!

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

Put her on a plane back to DR, maybe Spirit

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

Keep in mind many of them never get past 7th grade and they all think they are smarter than everyone else.

[yayow]

Keep in mind many of them never get past 7th grade and they all think they are smarter than everyone else.

Most of them are smarter, a hard dick ain't that smart.

You do get a certain air of superiority when all you have to do is look sexy and spread your legs a bit to get what you want. I blame the dudes.

[whatever]

She wishes it was like that.

[yayow]

I was married to a Dominican and felt I did what a normal head of household would do for his family nothing more, nothing less. I always think they will try you, but up to the man to set the rules or allow them to get away with murder. I have seen some men lose their minds over these chicas. My rule is simple, I don't send money, when we are together and I get mine, you will get yours, but I ain't sending money so you can get ready to give it up to somebody else on my dime.

Had one girl who's rent I paid for a year, length of rental contract and gave her 8,000 pesos a month. But considered her my girlfriend and came out to about 20,000 pesos a month, but she was a bad bitch, was with her 3 times a week, and did it because really enjoyed the sex with her and considered it a bargain to have her, when I wanted for just 20 mil a month. She had a job, but it was my decision, when I decided to make her my girlfriend, didn't like where she was living a real shit hole of a place, and I didn't want my girl living there, and knew she couldn't afford anything better by herself, so decided I wanted her in a better environment. When we broke up, she went back to living in a place she could afford on her own, not my problem any more.

[camaro1257]

I will bethe first to say I dont understand the dominican culture at all. So I am coming to you guys for an explanation/ clarity.

Up until 2 months ago I was dating a really nice Dominican woman here in NYC. Very nice female, own business, and a great person. (Even though we are not together anymore, I have nothing bad to say about her). One day she was hosting a family BBQ in her back yard and her Aunt from SD showed up. I guess her and my lady had spoken about our relationship an dthe aunt wanted to speak to me about what I am expected to do for her niece.

The aunt told me that inthe Dominican culture "The man is expected to pay ALL of his girlfriends bills!" He pays for everything and she puts her money into savings. She told me "No worries, when you want to go out with my nice, you are supposed to give her money for a new dress, shoes, bag and pay for her to go to the salon to do her hair and nails. She represents you, so it is your responsibility to pay so she can look beautiful for you!" I gave the aunt the side eye and asked "Didnt she have clothes and shoes before she met me? Why do I have to buy her a new wardrobe every weekend?"

Then the aunt explained that I was supposed to pay ALL of her nieces bills every month. Rent, electricity, car, credit cards, etc... When I asked why i would do that, she stated that it was the Dominican way. I asked her "Well, what happens if we break up after 1 year, then I wasted all of that money that I could have used to pay my bills or buy something for myself."

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

From time to time, I did assist her with bills, 200 here, 500 there, 400 there. But it wasnt every month, just when I knew she was short. My question is "Is this really the way realtionships are with dominican women? Or was the aunt just giving me some bs because in her mind "All he is doing for you is fucking you. He sint taking care of you!"

The majority of my answers are in.

The majority of the women I surveyed said it is the responsibility of the man to help his woman. If she has no job he should try to help with all and if she has a job he should help with part; regardless ALL women stated their novios and husbands share some degree of financial responsibility, the specifics will depend on the couple.

IMHO since I live in the Dominican Republic it is my responsibility to assimilate into the culture without compromising my integrity or values. In short when in Roma do as the Romans do. Therefore I would offer some form of help if I am in a relationship.Since you live in the United States your novia should do the same and try to assimilate into American culture without compromising her integrity or values. The bottom line since it's your money you have a right to say what you will pay and what you will not. If she expects you to give her money she becomes accountable to you and should submit a budget. It is possible she is financially irresponsible and you would be enabling her by paying whatever amount she asked.

You might consider helping on a case by case basis or give an allowance and whatever she needs beyond the amount you have pre-established should be her responsibility.

*** As far as the aunt of your ex-novia is concerned she may have been trying to flim flam you or be an advocate for your ex-novia to get you to do what she wanted you to do. However as previously stated what the aunt stated is not the case ALL the time. I bet you are glad that relationship is over...haaaaaaa!

[The Sage]

Yeah, the aunt was givng No worries a snow job. My only question for No worries is, how much younger than you is the niece of this aunt?

[PapiQueRico]

I was speaking with a very hot Santiguera at a go go bar in Jersey. She asked if I wanted to go to a motel for some fun. I asked how much and she said $250 plus forty for the Ho-tel. I said that for $290 I could fly to Santiago and fuck her cousin and three of her cousin's horniest friends. She smiled sweetly and said "yes, but we aren't in Santiago."

[Maretti]

I will bethe first to say I dont understand the dominican culture at all. So I am coming to you guys for an explanation/ clarity.

Up until 2 months ago I was dating a really nice Dominican woman here in NYC. Very nice female, own business, and a great person. (Even though we are not together anymore, I have nothing bad to say about her). One day she was hosting a family BBQ in her back yard and her Aunt from SD showed up. I guess her and my lady had spoken about our relationship an dthe aunt wanted to speak to me about what I am expected to do for her niece.

The aunt told me that inthe Dominican culture "The man is expected to pay ALL of his girlfriends bills!" He pays for everything and she puts her money into savings. She told me "No worries, when you want to go out with my nice, you are supposed to give her money for a new dress, shoes, bag and pay for her to go to the salon to do her hair and nails. She represents you, so it is your responsibility to pay so she can look beautiful for you!" I gave the aunt the side eye and asked "Didnt she have clothes and shoes before she met me? Why do I have to buy her a new wardrobe every weekend?"

Then the aunt explained that I was supposed to pay ALL of her nieces bills every month. Rent, electricity, car, credit cards, etc... When I asked why i would do that, she stated that it was the Dominican way. I asked her "Well, what happens if we break up after 1 year, then I wasted all of that money that I could have used to pay my bills or buy something for myself."

I explained to the aunt that I make a decent living (About 100K a year) but that there was no way on earth i could afford to pay all of my bills and my grilfriends at the same time. I would go broke! The aunt just shook her head and kept repeating to her niece "Different cultures. Americans are not like dominicans! they just dont understand" My girlfriend didnt say anything, she just sat there and listened to our convo, but she didnt chime in.

From time to time, I did assist her with bills, 200 here, 500 there, 400 there. But it wasnt every month, just when I knew she was short. My question is "Is this really the way realtionships are with dominican women? Or was the aunt just giving me some bs because in her mind "All he is doing for you is fucking you. He sint taking care of you!"

The Dominicana the aunt is describing is called a "chapiadora" in DR. A boyfriend doesn't have to pay (anywhere) any of the girlfriend expenses, but do should pay when they go out; and the husband and wife should be like one, what comes home is ours. Anything else, is better to "pay" as you go.

[BlueDevil]

How often have I heard guys bitching about the liberated American women? Most women in Latin American women do not really like to be "liberated" but paradoxically are pretty much the fiber that holds the family, and Latin society together. If you are dating, or in a LTR, with a Latin American woman, you will be expected to pick up at least some, if not all, of her expenses. Colombian men are very well-educated in this protocol, and will contribute towards his novia's or amante's rent, subsistence, maintenance and upkeep, entertainment with either monthly stipends or "pay as you go." Sometimes the stipend includes a little extra for the suegros or unattached sisters. Whether the girlfriend has a good job, and makes good money... or comes from a well-off family, the guy will always cough-up something to keep his girl happy, sexy and horny. Once the couple is married, the guy starts scaling back until he hooks up with another novia or amante.

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

Most of them are smarter, a hard dick ain't that smart.

You do get a certain air of superiority when all you have to do is look sexy and spread your legs a bit to get what you want. I blame the dudes.

Not all the dudes are dumb like that.

[greydread]

Not all the dudes are dumb like that.

...and scholastic accreditation has Jack shit to do with street smarts. Uneducated does not mean dumb and educated does not mean smart. I work at a college and some of the most clueless Mothafuckas I've ever seen have more letters behind their names than can fit on one line.

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

...and scholastic accreditation has Jack shit to do with street smarts. Uneducated does not mean dumb and educated does not mean smart. I work at a college and some of the most clueless Mothafuckas I've ever seen have more letters behind their names than can fit on one line.

Glad you know that.

[greydread]

Glad you know that.

More importantly, the Chicas know that.

[Atlantic City Jimmy]

More importantly, the Chicas know that.

My amiga in DR knows that I will give her NOTHING if I am not there. She begs Rafa non stop weekly.