05/2018 - Is it possible for a chica to change

[SeaWeed]

I said it before, somewhere....

A Woman always thinks a Man will change and he never does

A Man always hopes that a Woman will never change and she always does.

Amen..........

[questner]

Here's a good read, two following re-posts 'from the other side', the author's handle is Wrx2005:

"Bottom line if you want to see where a Dominicanas loyalty is to, stop all financial support. Or don't start any financial support. One distinct difference between a foreigner and a Dominican male, is that a Dominican male can give a Dominicana a child and can hover or bounce, give little to no support, and turn around and let that man give her another baby.

Now consider a foreigner. Would a Dominicana hook up with a foreigner who is not offering financial support right from the jump? NO. Most foreigners never ever get to test the waters, because they are too busy in rescue and save mode. And the women are expert at acting like they love the foreigners gentle, loving, caring approach. For the possibility of being rescued, and being supplemented, a DR woman will play along. If that what she has to do to survive, she can convince and encourage the foreigner to keep on doing what he was doing.

Generally speaking though, the DR man never had to do all of that. All he had to do is just be there. Have the babies, and let the family support the children that he fathers. Almost every DR woman that has children by a DR man claims they hate DR men. Do you ever hear DR women without children say that? I dont recall that. But check it. How do you hate DR men but every one of your children is by a DR man? No folks. The I hate DR man is for the gringos ears. Thats just reverse psychology to convince him that he is what she needs. Same thing goes if you ask a DR chick if she prefers white men over black men. What ever the color of man is in front of her, thats the man she prefers at the time.

In fact I wrote a whole piece a while back. You have The DR woman who does whatever the fuck she wants to do, then you have the DR man whose role is to father the children, the family structure supports every flaw of the DR man and woman, and it's role is to raise the children that the DR man fails to fully support, and it allows the female to do whatever the fuck she wants to do. Even if it means producing more children for the family to support. For the most part this is one of the most common examples within the DR culture.

The foreigner is just a tool to be used. A friend of mine calls it "slapping rocket boosters on a woman and propelling them into orbit". Once they get where they need to be, they can jettison the empty boosters and orbit without him. But as long as they have the capacity to attract more rocket boosters, a woman can choose that route. And she can also take care of any DR man, with the foreigners help. A womans loyalty to a foreigner is a manifestation of the level of security she is enjoying. Hypergamy in motion.

Note, women in the states have bamboozled men through relationships and marriage for decades. Why should it be any different for men in a foreign country? The bait is always the same. Get him through his lust. And take advantage of his need to feel loved and appreciated. Once a woman accomplishes that, he's all hers. The problem for men, they are blinded by their own folly. Many cannot believe that a woman is capable of a certain level of deception ( security masquerading as love, also men measure loyalty by she hasnt left him yet ) for yrs and even decades.

For women, it's not about love, it's about survival. A mans need to be loved and admired and respected is what women use to get what they want. Most men give it to them, without the woman having to ask for it or work for it. A lot of men are wired like that. Foreign men, I mean. Not the DR man. Many DR men keep their resources/money where it belongs. In their own pockets. And they despise the greedy and self centered nature of their women who hav meters attached to their pussies. But still, they love to fuck them and make babies.

All under the guise of acting like they are in love with the provider. Women love themselves, their children and their families. Men are simply a utility. And no woman is ashamed to use a man that allows himself to be used. The DR man will willingly help the DR woman to extract as much as she can from a willing, asleep foreigner. The truth is, there have been thousands of foreigners who eventually learned that their relationships or connections was really a facade, well orchestrated by the female. And the man choosing ignoring the signs. He never wanted to wake up from his fantasy. One last point. Check the age difference. If a man is 20 to 40 yrs older than the female, that is another clue not to ignore.

......................................................................................................................................................

A mans life and existence is like playing a video game machine. His common goal is to score points and become the champion. How it plays out when dealing with women? He attempts to do and say things to please the woman. Scoring points. His hope is that all of the cool shit that he does on a females behalf (scoring points) will reward him in some way. Loyalty, sex, appreciation, no drama, reciprocation, respect, her wanting to please him, look like a trophy etc. Thats all good, until he stops scoring points or somebody pulls the plug on the machine.

A womans life existence is like playing NFL football. There is a goal of happiness and other nice things to obtain, But she makes it almost impossible to reach that goal. Life with her is mostly full of downs, fumbles, false starts, penalties etc. With her, one is always trying to get at least a 1st down (peace). Every play that is made is a struggle to make this chick happy. (massive amount of plays with more downs) Even if you get to the goal line, the struggle to get there has very little reward. And don't get hurt and have to sit on the sidelines (not playing for her). She will quickly get a substitute to take your place. But of course that replacement will still have to play the game by her rules.

So if my sloppy analogy makes sense. The lesson to learn from it is: As a man don't get caught up playing a game of scoring points thinking a woman will appreciate your efforts and respect you. Because it may be a losing battle. Especially if she is playing a different game (Football) , expecting the man to do what ever it takes to get a 1st down with her. She doesn't want him to get to the goal line. Because he if does, he'll realize that there is really no reward for him there. His reward is supposed to be scoring downs for her, not looking for satisfaction for himself.

[MrHappy]

Here's a good read, two following re-posts 'from the other side', the author's handle is Wrx2005:


So if my sloppy analogy makes sense. The lesson to learn from it is: As a man don't get caught up playing a game of scoring points thinking a woman will appreciate your efforts and respect you. Because it may be a losing battle. Especially if she is playing a different game (Football) , expecting the man to do what ever it takes to get a 1st down with her. She doesn't want him to get to the goal line. Because he if does, he'll realize that there is really no reward for him there. His reward is supposed to be scoring downs for her, not looking for satisfaction for himself.

Absolutely hits the nail on the head. All true, and too much for most foreign men to absorb and comprehend.

This needs to be a sticky somewhere in a "Mongering for beginners 101" thread.

[Jimmydr]

Absolutely hits the nail on the head. All true, and too much for most foreign men to absorb and comprehend.

This needs to be a sticky somewhere in a "Mongering for beginners 101" thread.

They call it Facebook

[Doobieman]

Depends.

Most dominican women are heartless. They have been taken advantage of and oppressed their entire lives. This culture is male chavanistic (sp) to the max. That's why I love living here lol. If they recognize value in you, and they think that with you and only you they can find a way out of their fucked up situation, they will usually be loyal. Where dudes go wrong is they try to take them out of the country.

If you eat a steak dinner in a restaurant it tastes great right? What happens when you take it home and reheat it? tastes like dog shit.

It's the same with the chicas. Don't be trying to do take out and bring em back to the states. They will disappoint you like 70% of the time

[Doobieman]

Above all else, dominican women respect power and authority. That's why some random moto dude get way better chicas than most well to do guys coming here. It's simple.. the stated value of free moto rides to and from her crib is higher than your percieved value with your fancy sneakers and thousand dollar jeans. Colmado dudes who work the counter be having like 5 baby mommas lmao

[Jimmydr]

Depends.


It's the same with the chicas. Don't be trying to do take out and bring em back to the states. They will disappoint you like 70% of the time

Thought it would be 90%

[Maretti]

Depends.

Most dominican women are heartless. They have been taken advantage of and oppressed their entire lives. This culture is male chauvinistic (sp) to the max. That's why I love living here lol. If they recognize value in you, and they think that with you and only you they can find a way out of their fucked up situation, they will usually be loyal. Where dudes go wrong is they try to take them out of the country.

If you eat a steak dinner in a restaurant it tastes great right? What happens when you take it home and reheat it? tastes like dog shit.

It's the same with the chicas. Don't be trying to do take out and bring em back to the states. They will disappoint you like 70% of the time

Are we talking here about putas or regular Dominicanas? I know some people think all Dominicanas are hookers but they're not. The problem with most foreigners is that they "fall in love" with a woman they paid to have sex with.
Another thing I noticed is that most foreigners do not know how to find the woman to get married to, in my experience, you don't go looking for them, that's something that happens. Like I knew about this gringo who bought a engagement ring and went to the DR (his first time) looking for a woman to propose. That's so stupid.
When dealing with anyone (not only women), pay attention to the "little things," if you stick around, the big ones will come out, and when there's something that you don't like, don't try to "fix it," put distance between you and that person, and never, ever, get into an argument.
I've been in a relationship with a Dominicana 40 years younger than me.
I'm an older guy, a Cuban by birth, and I've had many relationships in my life, mostly good ones, and I can say without any doubt, that my years with this Dominicana has been my best ever. So far so good, no regrets. Well, yes, I have one regret, I could have started this relationship two years before but stupid me didn't get the hint!

[Jimmydr]

Are we talking here about putas or regular Dominicanas? I know some people think all Dominicanas are hookers but they're not. The problem with most foreigners is that they "fall in love" with a woman they paid to have sex with.
Another thing I noticed is that most foreigners do not know how to find the woman to get married to, in my experience, you don't go looking for them, that's something that happens. Like I knew about this gringo who bought a engagement ring and went to the DR (his first time) looking for a woman to propose. That's so stupid.
When dealing with anyone (not only women), pay attention to the "little things," if you stick around, the big ones will come out, and when there's something that you don't like, don't try to "fix it," put distance between you and that person, and never, ever, get into an argument.
I've been in a relationship with a Dominicana 40 years younger than me.
I'm an older guy, a Cuban by birth, and I've had many relationships in my life, mostly good ones, and I can say without any doubt, that my years with this Dominicana has been my best ever. So far so good, no regrets. Well, yes, I have one regret, I could have started this relationship two years before but stupid me didn't get the hint!

If 50% of American marriages fail and both people speak the same language have have so much in common why would a marriage with a wife half his age succeed?

[Doobieman]

Some of my views on this topic may not be very popular. The reason most chicas act the way that we act is because of naive sexcationers who pay out the ass and spoil them. Just like guys try to lump all chicas as "chapis" they label all "gringos" as sex crazy rich boys that they can squeeze for a few hundred bucks per trip. Language will always be the biggest barrier between you meeting "normal" dominican women, and chapiadoras or hoes. Couple things to consider, if you are looking for a good girl.

1. You won't find her on tinder, dominicancupid, etc. If you want to find a good woman here in Santo Domingo, simply walk out of your apartment and go in any direction. Within 10 or 15 minutes you are bound to run into a shorty you like. First year I was here as an experiment I would start my timer as soon as i locked my front door to leave, up until the point where i saw someone i liked. it really is like that here, believe it or not. So once you move here, or spend some significant time here, you realize that all those social media sites are to get gringo money, and they funnel you towards the prostitutes and chapis.

2. Fellas.. you gotta learn spanish. If you can't speak spanish, they look at you as just a dumb gringo and it's hard to remove that stigma. If you speak even intermediate spanish, immediately you are respected because you're TRYING. So many americans come here and just look lost and confused because nobody really speaks english outside of the tourist areas here. It's gotten much better over the last few years, banks and other institutions are hiring academies to help their employees learn basic english for business, but the normal chicas that live outside of the city don't speak any english. so the better your spanish, better chances you have of getting the one you want.

3. Stop bragging. A lot of brothers have PTSD (post tramautic pussy disorder) and they feel the need to be flashy and show off what they have in hopes that it will impress this chica into giving up the pussy. The less she knows about you and your real life, the better. I used to tell women I was an unemployed student, trying to find my way in life. I want them thinking that I am broke, so then we will see what she really is about. Most women here are sincere, have a good heart, and are really sweet. Very loyal, and will always show concern for you when you are sick, or just to verify if you've eaten yet (they ask that shit EVERY FUCKING DAY lol)

If you are trying to reform a Sosua pass around, depends on when you get to her. Some are early 20s and the mileage on them isn't so bad. It's good enough that they are excellent in bed, but not so far gone that they like wanna join the circus or some shit. The eyes are the windows to the soul. Some of these chicas have nothing behind the eyes.

TL/DR yeah. it's possible for a chica to change, given the right motivation. if you see value where others don't, and you're willing to invest the time (and money to help her start a business)

[Hunter]

Great info Doobieman. Good to have a SDQ guy on the board....

How do you find the ex-pat community in SDQ? I see a few ex-pats on malecon. I have met a few....

Is your social circle more Dominican than American? I think most ex-pats gravitate to Sosua because just more other expats there etc. Easier to get around with beach..... Whereas SDQ you are in a big city and could feel more alone being an American. Apples and oranges really comparing the 2.

The smoker chicas dont go to Sosua anymore. They dont need to. Sosua fished out. haha....

[Jimmydr]

Some of my views on this topic may not be very popular. The reason most chicas act the way that we act is because of naive sexcationers who pay out the ass and spoil them. Just like guys try to lump all chicas as "chapis" they label all "gringos" as sex crazy rich boys that they can squeeze for a few hundred bucks per trip. Language will always be the biggest barrier between you meeting "normal" dominican women, and chapiadoras or hoes. Couple things to consider, if you are looking for a good girl.

Everyone has different views

[Jimmydr]

TL/DR yeah. it's possible for a chica to change, given the right motivation. if you see value where others don't, and you're willing to invest the time (and money to help her start a business)

That would mean mongers can change?

[Doobieman]

Great info Doobieman. Good to have a SDQ guy on the board....

How do you find the ex-pat community in SDQ? I see a few ex-pats on malecon. I have met a few....

Is your social circle more Dominican than American? I think most ex-pats gravitate to Sosua because just more other expats there etc. Easier to get around with beach..... Whereas SDQ you are in a big city and could feel more alone being an American. Apples and oranges really comparing the 2.

The smoker chicas dont go to Sosua anymore. They dont need to. Sosua fished out. haha....

dude, i live outside of the city in the north. my circle is 100% dominican. the only americans i interact with are online, and the few i may see in passing if i head down to la zona. I was once in the line behind these 4 ladies, 3 white and 1 black and 0 of them spoke spanish. they were looking around saying "does anyone speak english?" i just looked around with them, acted like i couldn't understand what they were saying. they had no idea i was american. lol

i actually talk about what happened with my "social circle" aka the whatsapp group i created to try and help guys coming out here. what i have found is dominicans hate when americans try and exploit them on camera or by association. also that there are a lot of creepy crawly type dudes in this world and if you have a legit business here you need to be careful of the image you portray as well as the company you keep.

I'm really cool with this guy named Omari who runs BarrioToursDR, a tour service based out of Boca Chica. Hit him up BTW if you guys are in Sto Dgo or Boca Chica. He will take care of you, but please, make sure you take care of him as well.

I think most Americans head to Sosua because it's like shooting fish in a barrel. I had no idea Sosua even existed when I came here in 2012. I only came to Santo Domingo because I figured since it was the capitol it was probably the safest city to visit. So glad I did that, I probably would've been chewed up and spit out had I gone to Sosua first. it forced me to work on my spanish, which ended up being the best thing that could have happened.

[Jimmydr]

dude, i live outside of the city in the north. my circle is 100% dominican. the only americans i interact with are online, and the few i may see in passing if i head down to la zona. I was once in the line behind these 4 ladies, 3 white and 1 black and 0 of them spoke spanish. they were looking around saying "does anyone speak english?" i just looked around with them, acted like i couldn't understand what they were saying. they had no idea i was american. lol

.

Best to stay under the radar.

[Jimmydr]

I'm really cool with this guy named Omari who runs BarrioToursDR, a tour service based out of Boca Chica. Hit him up BTW if you guys are in Sto Dgo or Boca Chica. He will take care of you, but please, make sure you take care of him as well.

.

No reason on Earth to ever use a guy like that.

[Doobieman]

No reason on Earth to ever use a guy like that.

dudes be like

"hey man can you show me around the city? then take me to the grocery store? then get me 2 five star chicas? for a discount? and can they spend the night?

then they be like

"i'll buy you lunch bro" or "first beer on me"

I feel bad for Omari.. dude is married to a dominican lady and has 2 kids by her, and these dudes waste his time with the bullshit

[Jimmydr]

dudes be like

"hey man can you show me around the city? then take me to the grocery store? then get me 2 five star chicas? for a discount? and can they spend the night?

then they be like

"i'll buy you lunch bro" or "first beer on me"

I feel bad for Omari.. dude is married to a dominican lady and has 2 kids by her, and these dudes waste his time with the bullshit

Started this site 17 years ago, and I run away from those types.

I met a few that said, everything was on them if I showed them around, and that was great.

[Jimmydr]

I feel bad for Omari.. dude is married to a dominican lady and has 2 kids by her, and these dudes waste his time with the bullshit

Rule #1: Never feel bad about anyone not with you.

[Jimmydr]

Great info Doobieman. Good to have a SDQ guy on the board....

How do you find the ex-pat community in SDQ? I see a few ex-pats on malecon. I have met a few....

.

He stays away from them