NewsWhore
04-26-2006, 11:10 PM
Woman as a dangerous substance (http://www.datatek.net/Humor/Woman_as_a_dangerous_substance)
Index (http://www.datatek.net/Humor/Humor.html)
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen
HAZARDS:
* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
Index (http://www.datatek.net/Humor/Humor.html)
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen
HAZARDS:
* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
[/URL]
(http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/Sxxxyorg?a=UJMgJZ) (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/Sxxxyorg?a=XvQi3QyB)
[url="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Sxxxyorg?m=1581"]Link To Original Article (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/Sxxxyorg?a=W8XuicIm)
Index (http://www.datatek.net/Humor/Humor.html)
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen
HAZARDS:
* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
Index (http://www.datatek.net/Humor/Humor.html)
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen
HAZARDS:
* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
[/URL]
(http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/Sxxxyorg?a=UJMgJZ) (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/Sxxxyorg?a=XvQi3QyB)
[url="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Sxxxyorg?m=1581"]Link To Original Article (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/Sxxxyorg?a=W8XuicIm)