Weyland's Future (Living and dying in DR)

[weyland]

So he got about 3 or 4 years of SS. Not much at all.
If I get less that 5 good years here I will feel cheated, but you never know.

I had a severe pain in my solar plexus for 36 hours this week then it stopped as suddenly as it started. It frightened me because I don't want an operation in this shithole country.

To be on the safe side, would members please start subscribing money for my memorial now. PM me and I will advise my PayPal address.

I also have a constant pain in the ass, but I can easily get rid of that by paying some Haitians I know to make Robert13212 disappear.

[Jimmydr]

To be on the safe side, would members please start subscribing money for my memorial now. PM me and I will advise my PayPal address.


Do you plan on getting burried there? What is the cost of that?

[weyland]

Do you plan on getting burried there? What is the cost of that?
No idea but it won't be my problem. I wouldn't mind serving some ecologically useful purpose after my death like being fed to the pigs. Less harmful to the environment that being carted around in the blazing sun on the back of an open pick-up like the standard funeral here.

[Kevy]

I moved this here, I do not think this banter is appropriate on the other thread.

But on topic Maybe you would prefer a cremation Weyland and we spread your ashes on the malecon?

[weyland]

I moved this here, I do not think this banter is appropriate on the other thread.
I never realised you were that tactful, Kevy, but, in all seriousness, you are right to have done so. Many thanks.

[Kevy]

I never realised you were that tactful, Kevy, but, in all seriousness, you are right to have done so. Many thanks.

Neither did I, but I wanted to respond and remembered the origin of the thread and didn't feel right about it.

[Jimmydr]

I moved this here, I do not think this banter is appropriate on the other thread.

But on topic Maybe you would prefer a cremation Weyland and we spread your ashes on the malecon?


I will chip in, for sure.

[Jimmydr]

I never realised you were that tactful, Kevy, but, in all seriousness, you are right to have done so. Many thanks.


Kevy is a gentleman.

[Klockman]

If I get less that 5 good years here I will feel cheated, but you never know.

I had a severe pain in my solar plexus for 36 hours this week then it stopped as suddenly as it started. It frightened me because I don't want an operation in this shithole country.

To be on the safe side, would members please start subscribing money for my memorial now. PM me and I will advise my PayPal address.

I also have a constant pain in the ass, but I can easily get rid of that by paying some Haitians I know to make Robert13212 disappear.

I feel bad for it, but I did laugh at that comment

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[WickedWillie]

2 or 3 years ago a cremation ran about RD$50,000.

Funereria Blandino (www.funerariablandino.com.do (http://www.funerariablandino.com.do)) is the biggest funeral home in the country.

[weyland]

Neither did I, but I wanted to respond and remembered the origin of the thread and didn't feel right about it.
I guess living down here for a year is making me insensitive to death. Not a month goes by without hearing of some acquaintance or friend of a friend who has died some avoidable death.

Only last week I learned the brother of my first favorita down here was assaulted so badly he is now a vegetable. His fellow cop was killed. I know cops get a bad rep here but he seems to have been very respected and trusted in his community. The two of them were trying to arrest a gang of five who had been terrorizing the barrio for months. I guess the odds were against them or the guys were so drugged-up they got reckless.

[Jimmydr]

2 or 3 years ago a cremation ran about RD$50,000.

Funereria Blandino (www.funerariablandino.com.do (http://www.funerariablandino.com.do)) is the biggest funeral home in the country.



I pledge 1,000 pesos for Weyland.

[Kevy]

Kevy is a gentleman.

even the comment about not getting much social security is inappropriate, you should delete it Jimmy.:rolleyes:

[Mr Hillbilly]

Unless my guess is incorrect I think your stash would make a wonderful funeral :)

Would you like me to pay for it and keep the difference?

[Jimmydr]

even the comment about not getting much social security is inappropriate, you should delete it Jimmy.:rolleyes:


I don't mean how much per month, I meant only 3 years of getting it. My dad has been getting it for 26 years now.

[Kevy]

I don't mean how much per month, I meant only 3 years of getting it. My dad has been getting it for 26 years now.

The guy is dead, no point in kicking him when he is down, it isn't a competition.

[Jimmydr]

The guy is dead, no point in kicking him when he is down, it isn't a competition.


I made a statement, nothing more. I never met the guy, I think.

[Kevy]

I made a statement, nothing more. I never met the guy, I think.

I guess you want it ugly at your Funeral with a lot of STATEMENTS.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[weyland]

2 or 3 years ago a cremation ran about RD$50,000.

Funereria Blandino (www.funerariablandino.com.do (http://www.funerariablandino.com.do)) is the biggest funeral home in the country.
In the book "In search of the perfect whore" (set in Puerto Plata) which has been twice reviewed here ...
http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/showthread.php?t=35998&highlight=search+perfect
http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/showthread.php?t=84987
... there is a hilarious account of some ex-pats dumping their deceased friend out at sea, complete with gritadora. I am sure you could arrange this for a lot less than RD$50,000 and you might have as much fun as they did.

[Jimmydr]

I guess you want it ugly at your Funeral with a of STATEMENTS.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


I am not having one, by body will be burried in the woods somewhere.

[Kevy]

In the book "In search of the perfect whore" (set in Puerto Plata) which has been twice reviewed here ...
http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/showthread.php?t=35998&highlight=search+perfect
http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/showthread.php?t=84987
... there is a hilarious account of some ex-pats dumping their deceased friend out at sea, complete with gritadora. I am sure you could arrange this for a lot less than RD$50,000 and you might have as much fun as they did.

I was thinking a couple of oil drums and Gasoline, in your favorite Bateye at the item.:)

[Jimmydr]

I want a Viking Funeral!

[weyland]

I want a Viking Funeral!
Combine my idea of dumping at sea and Kevy's idea of the gasoline and we have a Viking funeral on the cheap, DR style.

[Jimmydr]

Combine my idea of dumping at sea and Kevy's idea of the gasoline and we have a Viking funeral on the cheap, DR style.


Sign me up for one. We can practice with you first anf fine toon it.:eek:

[The Sage]

Jimmy's comment was a tad bit insensitive, but then he's an accountant what do you expect. My comment to his comment that I refrained from posting because I didn't want to lay seed to a thread jack was, "Yeah, but he got more than you're probably going to get my young friend"

[Jimmydr]

"Yeah, but he got more than you're probably going to get my young friend"


I hope you attend my Viking Funeral, in Cartengna.

[The Sage]

Jimmy if you go before me I will go to Thailand, if you die there, for your funeral. Columbia is just a hop, step, and a jump away.

[Jimmydr]

Jimmy if you go before me I will go to Thailand, if you die there, for your funeral. Columbia is just a hop, step, and a jump away.


I will die in Colombia, one way or another.

[whatever]

I had a severe pain in my solar plexus for 36 hours this week then it stopped as suddenly as it started. It frightened me because I don't want an operation in this shithole country.

If you didn't know you can get insurance that will pay for
an emergency medical evacuation in case your problem is
beyond the local medical facilities capability. It doesn't
cost much. DAN (http://www.diversalertnetwork.org/) is one example of the type.
(http://www.diversalertnetwork.org/)

[weyland]

...............................................
sorry, duplicated post.

[weyland]

If you didn't know you can get insurance that will pay for
an emergency medical evacuation in case your problem is
beyond the local medical facilities capability. It doesn't
cost much. DAN (http://www.diversalertnetwork.org/) is one example of the type.
(http://www.diversalertnetwork.org/)
There is no affordable insurance available at my age (70). If I am in a state to travel I could fly back to the UK and get operated on free or cheapish. Let's hope it never happens.

I believe top-notch medical expertise is available in Santiago, at a price.

[Seville]

I never realised you were that tactful, Kevy, but, in all seriousness, you are right to have done so. Many thanks.

The name of the thread is "Life of an ex-Pat in the DR". The name is not "Death of an old English wanker in a shithole". I know many on here use the "countdown" option. Perhaps we could start a thread for a different type of countdown. And we could make it more interesting by actually betting on the correct month and year. I'll take December 2011. Anyone else? It was good it was moved.

[weyland]

The name of the thread is "Life of an ex-Pat in the DR". The name is not "Death of an old English wanker in a shithole". I know many on here use the "countdown" option. Perhaps we could start a thread for a different type of countdown. And we could make it more interesting by actually betting on the correct month and year. I'll take December 2011. Anyone else? It was good it was moved.
I don't want anybody here having a vested interest in the date of my death. Especially anyone whose funds have been cleaned out donating to the Police Benevolent Fund.

I formally propose that Robert13212 be expelled from ISOC for conspiracy and coarse language.

[Seville]

I don't want anybody here having a vested interest in the date of my death. Especially anyone whose funds have been cleaned out donating to the Police Benevolent Fund.

I formally propose that Robert13212 be expelled from ISOC for conspiracy and coarse language.


Conspiracy implies, friends, accomplices and/or like minded fellows joining for a common purpose. As Weyland will be the first to tell you, I am extremely unlikable and therefore have no friends. An accomplice requires a close working relationship and due to certain bodily functions and various medical abnormalities that I would rather not go into detail about, that is highly unlikely. Finally we are left with "like minded fellows". I will leave that one to the members of the board. How many minds do you think are as twisted, dysfunctional and backwards as mine? Feel free to chime in because I want this conspiracy rumor put to bed before Weyland is at 6 PM.

And isn't your country that allow you to bet on anything and everything?:)

[Seville]

I don't want anybody here having a vested interest in the date of my death. Especially anyone whose funds have been cleaned out donating to the Police Benevolent Fund.

I formally propose to Robert13212 be expelled from ISOC for conspiracy and coarse language.

While I find your proposal extremely touching and very sincere; I really must decline. First I don't believe you have asked my father for my hand. That is a terrible breach of edicate and shows a lack of respect. Second, we would have to move to a country where our union would be legally recognized by competent authority and I am quite content here for the time being. Third, I do not believe that you can support me in the manner that I am accustomed to. Fourth, while you are no doubt quite enamored with me at this time, sooner or later you will return to your Hatian roots and break my heart. Fifth, and most important, I would be condemmed to a life where I had to wake up every morning and the first thing my eyes would encounter is your ugly, sagging jowels; your nipples where your naval should be, a penis that no doubt looks like Mr. Snuffleupagus's hairy nose after being rode hard and put away wet and your ass being supported by the back of your knees.

So while I do appreciate the offer. I respectfully decline but hope we can remain friends.:)

[vewdew]

While I find your proposal extremely touching and very sincere; I really must decline. First I don't believe you have asked my father for my hand. That is a terrible breach of edicate and shows a lack of respect. Second, we would have to move to a country where our union would be legally recognized by competent authority and I am quite content here for the time being. Third, I do not believe that you can support me in the manner that I am accustomed to. Fourth, while you are no doubt quite enamored with me at this time, sooner or later you will return to your Hatian roots and break my heart. Fifth, and most important, I would be condemmed to a life where I had to wake up every morning and the first thing my eyes would encounter is your ugly, sagging jowels; your nipples where your naval should be, a penis that no doubt looks like Mr. Snuffleupagus's harry nose after being rode hard and put away wet and your ass being supported by the back of your knees.

So while I do appreciate the offer. I respectfully decline but hope we can remain friends.:)



Eheheheh Robert you are to much :)

[MrHappy]

The name of the thread is "Life of an ex-Pat in the DR". The name is not "Death of an old English wanker in a shithole". I know many on here use the "countdown" option. Perhaps we could start a thread for a different type of countdown. And we could make it more interesting by actually betting on the correct month and year. I'll take December 2011. Anyone else? It was good it was moved.

That's going a little beyond good taste.

Weyland, I personally hope you're still around in 2030, AND in great health.

[Jimmydr]

That's going a little beyond good taste.

Weyland, I personally hope you're still around in 2030, AND in great health.

That would make him about 90 years old. :eek:

[Seville]

That's going a little beyond good taste.

Weyland, I personally hope you're still around in 2030, AND in great health.

Good taste? Monger board? Not quite sure how that equates. And my interest in December 2011 is purely financial, not personal. I hate to admit this, especially in a public forum, but I have grown fond of the old codger.:wink:

[Seville]

That would make him about 90 years old. :eek:

Actually it would make him closer to 130, but who's counting.:)

[curiousdude]

There is no affordable insurance available at my age (70). If I am in a state to travel I could fly back to the UK and get operated on free or cheapish. Let's hope it never happens.

I believe top-notch medical expertise is available in Santiago, at a price.

Ok, then, as you request, we will join together in hoping that you will not be in a state to travel. :biggrin:

[Gladiator]

If I were an elderly expat living abroad - as I will hopefully be one day – dying and what they do with my body would be the least of my concerns, what would really worry me is what would happen to me if became physically or mentally disabled as a result of old age.

[jacknback]

I remember when I was younger and really boozing and drugging bad,my father pulled me aside and asked me to get insurance so that he and my Mom wouldn't have to pay to bury me.My response then is as it is now.do you think I give a fuck what happens to me after I'm dead?Dead is dead.Throw me in the river and let the crabs eat me.(or pigs if they are your preference.)Anything that happens after your death is for the remaing living and is purely self-centered because as I stated above....Dead is dead!!!!
I've told all my friends(ain't got no family)not to waste any money trying to have a funeral or bury me.......save the money and go chasing women(or men)

[weyland]

I remember when I was younger and really boozing and drugging bad,my father pulled me aside and asked me to get insurance so that he and my Mom wouldn't have to pay to bury me.My response then is as it is now.do you think I give a fuck what happens to me after I'm dead?Dead is dead.Throw me in the river and let the crabs eat me.(or pigs if they are your preference.)Anything that happens after your death is for the remaing living and is purely self-centered because as I stated above....Dead is dead!!!!
I've told all my friends(ain't got no family)not to waste any money trying to have a funeral or bury me.......save the money and go chasing women(or men)
I don't know your family or situation but it sounds like your father was trying a different approach to get through to you, rather than worrying about spending a few hundred dollars when you died.

[MrHappy]

I remember when I was younger and really boozing and drugging bad,my father pulled me aside and asked me to get insurance so that he and my Mom wouldn't have to pay to bury me.My response then is as it is now.do you think I give a fuck what happens to me after I'm dead?Dead is dead.Throw me in the river and let the crabs eat me.(or pigs if they are your preference.)Anything that happens after your death is for the remaing living and is purely self-centered because as I stated above....Dead is dead!!!!
I've told all my friends(ain't got no family)not to waste any money trying to have a funeral or bury me.......save the money and go chasing women(or men)

Um, there are laws against that sort of thing.

A better approach would have been to hand your old man a couple grand and tell him it's taken care of.

[MrHappy]

If I were an elderly expat living abroad - as I will hopefully be one day – dying and what they do with my body would be the least of my concerns, what would really worry me is what would happen to me if became physically or mentally disabled as a result of old age.

My biggest fear....... by far

[Jimmydr]

If I were an elderly expat living abroad - as I will hopefully be one day – dying and what they do with my body would be the least of my concerns, what would really worry me is what would happen to me if became physically or mentally disabled as a result of old age.

They do nothing with you at all. Its all on you to take care of yourself.

[Seville]

If I were an elderly expat living abroad - as I will hopefully be one day – dying and what they do with my body would be the least of my concerns, what would really worry me is what would happen to me if became physically or mentally disabled as a result of old age.

The answer to that is this: You would be forced to live in POP with a Hatian caregiver and depend on the kindness of strangers.

[Jimmydr]

The answer to that is this: You would be forced to live in POP with a Hatian caregiver and depend on the kindness of strangers.


That is funny, really funny.

[MrHappy]

The answer to that is this: You would be forced to live in POP with a Hatian caregiver and depend on the kindness of strangers.

I could think of worse things to happen to me...

[Seville]

I could think of worse things to happen to me...

No doubt. One that comes to mind quickly is having a semi-private room at the Hatian Home for the Indigent and Unwanted and your "roomy" being none other than Sir Weyland. Sleep with your back to the wall is all I am saying!

[weyland]

No doubt. One that comes to mind quickly is having a semi-private room at the Hatian Home for the Indigent and Unwanted and your "roomy" being none other than Sir Weyland. Sleep with your back to the wall is all I am saying!
Not all English are like that. :(

[Seville]

Not all English are like that. :(

We weren't talking about all English. Just one in particular.:)

[jacknback]

Again...........Don't waste any money taking care of my DEAD body.I'm telling you I won't be mad!!!

[weyland]

Again...........Don't waste any money taking care of my DEAD body.I'm telling you I won't be mad!!!
You could keep a child alive and cared for for a year down here on the difference between a minimal funeral and an all bells and whistles one.

[weyland]

One [bad scenario] that comes to mind is having a semi-private room and your "roomy" being none other than Sir Weyland. Sleep with your back to the wall is all I am saying!
Until now I have refrained from responding head on to this vile and unjustified slur, but after the events of this morning I can restrain myself no longer.

Robert and his friend invited me to meet them at La Sirena, the large household store in Puerto Plata for a meal on Robert's tab. But first Robert needed a few items for the lovenest he is feathering in La Mulata.

After mincing round the aisles for an eternity, he eventually located and selected a frilly apron and fluffy slippers. Then he went to buy a washing-up rack. They were available in white, ivory, yellow or sky blue. Robert, however, pounced on this one, and continued to fondle it for the rest of the visit.

http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/imagehosting/65684cae65f81f6a3.jpg

Can you spell hypocrite? A man who freely chooses this color to have in his kitchen is making snide allegations about my sexual orientation! Even the check-out girls and the mother sitting at the next table in the cafeteria were sn i g g e r ing. Robert just dug himself deeper by saying it would match his pink rugs and pink toilet-cleaning brush.

He has been persistently inviting me to spend a night in his house. I took this at face value as a kind gesture. But I don't want to sleep under the same roof as that shocking pink dish rack.

And I haven't even mentioned his shirt. I am pretty sure it is one that Tropic Bob used to mop up excess sperm on his last visit then threw in a wastebin at Rocky's. I know Robert is on a tight budget, but has the man no self-respect?

[Seville]

Until now I have refrained from responding head on to this vile and unjustified slur, but after the events of this morning I can restrain myself no longer.

Robert and his friend invited me to meet them at La Sirena, the large household store in Puerto Plata for a meal on Robert's tab. But first Robert needed a few items for the lovenest he is feathering in La Mulata.

After mincing round the aisles for an eternity, he eventually located and selected a frilly apron and fluffy slippers. Then he went to buy a washing-up rack. They were available in white, ivory, yellow or sky blue. Robert, however, pounced on this one, and continued to fondle it for the rest of the visit.

Click to see pic (http://news.insearchofchicas.org/forum/imagehosting/65684cae65f81f6a3.jpg)

Can you spell hypocrite? A man who freely chooses this color to have in his kitchen is making snide allegations about my sexual orientation! Even the check-out girls and the mother sitting at the next table in the cafeteria were sn i g g e r ing. Robert just dug himself deeper by saying it would match his pink rugs and pink toilet-cleaning brush.

He has been persistently inviting me to spend a night in his house. I took this at face value as a kind gesture. But I don't want to sleep under the same roof as that shocking pink dish rack.

And I haven't even mentioned his shirt. I am pretty sure it is one that Tropic Bob used to mop up excess sperm on his last visit then threw in a wastebin at Rocky's. I know Robert is on a tight budget, but has the man no self-respect?

I feel violated. You told me that photo was going to be used for the next cover of Good Housekeeping! Instead you use it in a frail attempt to humiliate me? Obviously character, honesty and integrity are not your strong suits. However, I must admit that when it comes to scoring Hatian toto you have no peers.:) And as far as my attire goes; If you knew the shirt was sperm laden why didn't you tell me to wash it before I wore it? That would have been the decent thing to do.:(

[snowtreader]

Our local 100 year old cemetery in Amish country is an old Indian mound with a 360 view, I purchased the last lot smack on the top and want an obelisk stone with a lightening rod on top. Epitaph to read "Feel the power of God"

[WickedWillie]

And I haven't even mentioned his shirt. I am pretty sure it is one that Tropic Bob used to mop up excess sperm on his last visit then threw in a wastebin at Rocky's. I know Robert is on a tight budget, but has the man no self-respect?


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[weyland]

If you knew the shirt was sperm laden why didn't you tell me to wash it before I wore it? That would have been the decent thing to do.
Yes, my bad. I didn't recognise it until I was looking through my Tropic Bob archive that evening. (I do that from time to time, makes me feel 10 years younger). I just assumed the shirt had been incompetently starched.

[Seville]

Yes, my bad. I didn't recognise it until I was looking through my Tropic Bob archive that evening. (I do that from time to time, makes me feel 10 years younger). I just assumed the shirt had been incompetently starched.

I'm happy to hear that something can make you feel 87. To be honest I am surprised you can feel at all.

[MrHappy]

Our local 100 year old cemetery in Amish country is an old Indian mound with a 360 view, I purchased the last lot smack on the top and want an obelisk stone with a lightening rod on top. Epitaph to read "Feel the power of God"

I like the way you think!